Several months ago, my toxic co-worker informed me that my manner is often curt. Since she went around in perpetual scowl mode herself, I thought it was a ludicrous comment. I've always worked to be approachable and generous with my time and attention, so I decided it was just one more manufactured criticism, an excuse for her ongoing dislike and niggly attacks.
So I thought.
Yesterday I was lunching with a dear friend, and he informed me that I am often rude to the wait staff. I was stunned. I love to dine out, and I am horrified at the thought that my behavior makes it difficult for other people to enjoy themselves. Besides, it's stupid to be rude to the person who handles your food.
He said my manner could be blamed on D, source of all evil in my universe. But I can't dismiss it so facilely.
Have I really turned into that hideous old lady who makes unreasonable demands and cannot be pleased? Don't I say please and thanks? Don't I smile when I make a request? Don't I look people in the eye? What is this rudeness of which they speak?
I guess the real problem is that I have been unaware of my negative impact on people. I don't know how to fix a problem that I cannot recognize. There are so many things I accuse myself of, but rudeness has never been on the list.
I truly don't know what to do with this feedback.
As another data point, I've never thought you rude to wait staff. (saying this not to contradict, but maybe to narrow down contexts?)
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