False Hope is Corrosive

I spent another day getting the runaround from various institutions and crying.  I am now officially ready to throw in the towel, which I suspect is the goal of all involved.  There are so many people in need, they have to have a way to winnow people out.  But they don't want to appear unhelpful.  So, they start with random rules.  They advertise services and promise they will help people.....if they are eligible.  The eligibility requirements are truly head-scratchers.  Why does it matter when you last refinanced your house?  (That's the one that winnows me out.)  Or how much you owe?  Or how much equity you have?  Need is need.

If you can get past the eligibility requirements, they then set up a process to winnow you out.  I've already described the mortgage assistance boogie, but there's a further twist:  even if you do get to apply, there's no saying you will actually be accepted into the program.

Essentially, you are running through a maze.  You keep running down blind alleys.  Then, you see a run that ends in a doorway, the door held open.  You see green fields, seascapes, mountains:  whatever symbolizes freedom.  You run towards the door and just as you reach it, WHAM!  it's slammed in your face.  And a voice says, turn around and try the other tunnel....see, there's a door there, it's going to open in 2 hours, just sit by it.  Ooops, you're sitting next to the wrong door, it's never going to open.  Try that door over there.  Repeat again in 2 weeks.  And again.

It's just plain mean.  It would be better if I spent my time focussing on what I can do for myself, not on  these phantom promises and false hopes.

So, next time I get ready to whine about my sad state of affairs, I will breathe deeply and think about what is working in my life.  I will think about chocolate, fresh bread, the scents of rosemary and lavender, good books, classical music, strong hugs from people I love, making s'mores at the fireplace....there are so many things to bring joy, and few of them require much effort to acquire.

As Scarlett says, "Tomorrow is another day."