Rampant consumerism

We all know about planned obsolescence, but why does the plan always come to fruition when we can least afford it?

Last month, in a fit of Christmas generosity, I caved to clever marketing and the pleas of my spouse and purchased a new dishwasher.  I have to admit, it's nice to take glasses out of the dishwasher and have them sparkling and clear, instead of cloudy and covered in gritty orts.  And I appreciate the kindness of R, who took his skills out of retirement and lay scrunched into the tiny space in front of the washer, wielding screwdrivers and other tools of his trade.  Twice.

Then, the oven died on us.  It was New Year's Eve, and we were planning for our annual New Year's Day open house.  We had a 20-lb turkey waiting in the freezer.  We had also promised cookie baking as part of the festivities (football in the studio, talking in the living room, games in the dining room, and baking in the kitchen.)   What to do?

I called our handyman.  His theory was that, since the broiler worked, the problem was the lower baking coil.  I called around.  Who is open on New Year's Eve?  Not many businesses, and those that were did not have the part.  The quoted price:  $118.  Yikes.  I found an online quote for $93, and when I called the place that sold us the dishwasher, they agreed to match it.  But it wasn't going to be available until the following Tuesday.

D's sister came through with her large counter-top roaster, and the turkey provided the best leftover-soup fixings ever.  I made fudge and tried out the microwave convection oven for some chocolate chip cookies.  It worked, but I didn't watch it carefully enough, and after a batch of very brown crunchy cookies, I decided to start up a jigsaw puzzle.  We had plenty of goodies from our guests, anyway.

It's amazing how long you can go without an oven.  I pulled out the electric bread-maker and finally managed to make good bread in it (still not as good as the Tassajara-style oven-baked, but better than edible.)  I baked bread pudding in the microwave, and used the broiler to revitalize stale chips.  D grilled and used the stove for his cooking.  And we made it for another week before we finally installed the new coil.  Happy ending?  No.....the oven still did not bake.

After expending

Much angst and cash, the oven

Still does not work

We continued to deal for another week, when the next appliance died on us:  our trusty microwave with the convection oven, purchased 6 years ago for $150 from Home Depot, the best deal ever.  And there's a reason it was a good deal:  the door push-latch had plastic components which broke and could not be repaired.

With D's mu shu chicken rotting in the microwave and no substitute for the oven, we finally had to take decisive action.  R came over again: the microwave was above his pay grade, and the oven could have any number of things wrong with it:  the sensor, the panel, or the board.  He verified that the old coil was not the problem, so we took the new coil out to see if we could get our money back.

A repair dude came out and we had a lively conversation about planned obsolescence.  He couldn't repair the microwave, either, and it was going to cost close to $400 to repair the oven.  Because the oven was already close to 6 years old, it made more sense to buy a new one.  As every salesman we visited said, the normal lifespan for appliances is 7-12 years, depending on the brand.

So, today we went out shopping on 82nd Avenue.   Four stores and six hours later, we have one basic microwave, three quotes for free-standing ranges, and a great weariness.  It's an overwhelming process, especially when you have to count your pennies.

I always knew color counted for a lot in price.  From cheaper to more expensive, my options were white, black, or pewter/metal.  Not too noxious, and I was grateful that avocado green and baby-shit yellow are no longer part of the appliance color palette.  But I had no idea that built-in ovens cost more than free-standing ranges, flat-tops are more than back-splashed, and gas appliances are costlier than electric.  Apparently I have expensive tastes.

The variety of options is staggering.  I don't even need a stove top, but if I get a free-standing range, I'll have to cut out a space and replace the stove top I have.  If I get an electric range, do I want coils or a glass stove top?  If glass, do I want the variable size option?  If I get gas, do I get sealed or open burners?  Separate or solid grates?  A grill option?  A simmer and high heat option?  And, for the oven....Broiler inside or underneath?  Plastic or cloth seal?

I just want to bake cookies and bread.

Tonight I came into the kitchen.  The electric bread-maker was humming through its second loaf.  D was happily heating up sausage in the new microwave.  I stood and looked at the gas stove top I have used ever since I bought this house, 17 years ago.  That's 5 years over the maximum that appliances are supposed to last.  Other than a broken igniter, which a handheld clicker can handle, it continues to work just fine.  Can I trust it?   I looked at the smooth lines of my counter, and I imagined it broken up by a new range, its back sticking up in the middle.  D looked over at me and said, "What's wrong?"  I said:  "I don't want a range."

And we are back to square one.  Except, of course, we have a new microwave.